Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
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