yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Randomize
