i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
