just tell him i said nine months
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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