The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
