margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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