PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
