so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
