Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
