walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
