You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
