we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
