i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
