I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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