she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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