I swear she didn't look like that last week.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
