What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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