On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize