How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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