Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
