I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
