I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
