so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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