there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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