i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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