did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
