drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize