I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
