I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Randomize
