thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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