So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
