cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize