my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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