Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
