Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
