pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Randomize
