her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Reggie can tackle my bush.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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