So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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