My hand turned me down
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
