You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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