yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
