Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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