Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
