Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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