Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
