Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
