There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
