Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize