Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
