HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
whose ass print is on the piano?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
