so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
