i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize