Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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