i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
