508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
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