I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
