I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
