Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
