when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
