and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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