Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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