I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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