I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
