i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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