That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
