so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize