dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
